Brain Overload

I’m not sure if anyone else experiences this, but I think my brain runs on overload 24/7. It’s as if my dreams are blueprints for the next day’s chaos. I catch myself sounding like my mom: “Don’t forget tomorrow is trash day,” “Did you remember to feed Eufy?” “We should bring that leftover chicken noodle soup to work for lunch.” Oh, and yes, I sometimes refer to myself as “we.”

You’d think it’s because I just had a baby, and everyone says your memory takes a dive post-kids, but let’s be real—I’ve been this way even before the little ones came along. Part of me wonders if I should get tested for ADHD, while the other half insists, “Don’t you dare! You need this overactive brain to juggle all the ridiculous tasks you put in your job jars.”

And don’t get me started on the superpowers of hearing and smelling everything now. I used to scoff at parents who claimed that, but there I was last night, wide awake because Toddler Ted was snoring like a freight train. Picture me lurking in the dark with one of those booger-sucking contraptions, waiting for him to open his eyes so I could make my booger-extraction pitch.

He finally woke up this morning, and I seized the opportunity—only to be met with a look that screamed, “Crazy lady, get the heck away from my nose!”

And here I am, still in my pajamas, contemplating whether anyone else lives in a world this bizarre. Naturally, I decided to share it with the internet. So, here are my random morning musings, delivered straight from my brain for your amusement. Enjoy!