Friendships as a Mom

One of the toughest parts about becoming a mother has been feeling disconnected from the friends I had and trying to maintain or even make new connections. It’s as if the free time I once had has vanished, and I find myself treading water in an ocean with no island in sight. Don’t get me wrong—I don’t regret it for a second. I adore my husband and my little boys and the life path we’re on. But sometimes, I daydream about the old days.

Back then, I could spontaneously ride my bike, the wind in my hair, or hop in the car to visit a friend hours away, free from schedules and responsibilities. Now, spontaneity involves calculating nap times, considering whether to bring my pump, and wondering if I’ll be back in time to breastfeed. It’s a juggling act of epic proportions, compounded by the unpredictability of one child deciding nap time is merely a myth while the other scoffs at routine, leaving me with two energizer bunnies come bedtime.

Gone are the days when my biggest worries were what to wear, when to hit the gym, or if brunch was on the horizon. Honestly, I can’t recall my last brunch—it feels like ages ago. I know life will shift again, but for now, I reminisce and wish my single friends understood how much I miss them. Sometimes it feels like they’re drifting away because our lifestyles are so different now. They remember the old, carefree me, but that version hasn’t been around for over five years, and I know I’m not going back there.

So here I am, pondering how to meet in the middle without losing the friendships I cherish. I suppose that’s one of the tragedies of getting older—friendships evolve, and you realize some people are in your life for a reason or a season. It’s about finding new ways to keep those connections alive, even when life pulls us in different directions.